Worship is not
about the feelings we receive when we sing
about convincing God to bless us
whether or not the guitar is too loud
about what's happening on the stage
about entertainment, lighting, or sound
about us at all.
It's about Him.
It's our response to what we value most...
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1
It really made me think about the things that I put my time and effort into, "idols". God desires for us to spend time with him and get to know him, and truly worship him.
We also had the opportunity to have break out sessions this year which was cool because the kids got to choose what they wanted to learn more about or get encouragment in. I chose the session on being a "people pleaser". Which made me realize that I am to an extent a people pleaser, but I'm more of a peacemaker. I don't value either of these qualities in me and I pray that God help me with not always wanting everyone to "like" me. As soon as I hear of a conflict or someone saying something about me, I often let it overtake my joy and thoughts. I need to stop doing this! I realized I should be more worried about pleasing God rather than pleasing people.
During the sharing time I had a hard time sharing. I kept wanting to say what God had put on my heart but everytime I tried, I cried. Yes, I'm emotional and sometimes I hate that! So, I'll share it hear for anyone who may be reading/listening. I took a lot from the retreat. I realized in the first session that my family is my "idol". They are what I put my thoughts into. This doesn't seem like a bad thing, but when I try and control everything, that's when it becomes a problem. It is literally like having a 50 pound weight on your shoulders when you try and control the uncontrolable. When I try and fix all the problems my sisters, mom, dad, and extended family are having, it's a lot. I've always been the person who wants everyone to be happy and when something is wrong, I worry and let it consume my thoughts. I'm going to try my hardest to give this over to God. I found a verse in Matthew that really put it out there on the line: Matthew 10:37
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me" This verse seems kind of harsh because how can you not love your father/mother/husband/sister/brother! But what I took from it is that I'm putting WAY more time and energy into loving my family, worrying about their problems, and trying to fix it all rather than putting that time and energy into loving God and knowing him more.
I love ther verse in John 14:6 that reminds us to love him because "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to know God except through me." So, it just really made me think, who do I know and care about more, Jesus or my family?! Wow! Tough thing to work on!
The last day of retreat was just another amazing day. I was kind of tired and ready to get home, but the message was awesome. Matt and Stacy did a 2 part duo message. They spent a lot of time really teaching about the history of the tabernacle and how back then you had to do so much WORK to get to God! You had to clense yourself, be mentally prepared, sacrifice an animal, put it's blood on you, and then MAYBE you would be allowed to enter in and talk to God. It was a lot of work! Then they shared about how when Jesus died on the cross (they showed the very emotional clip from Passion of the Christ) the veil of the temple was torn and that represented that we no longer had to do that to get to God. We have freedom to come to him whenever we want now! How cool is that!
I'm so thankful for an awesome retreat where God moved! The Holy Spirit was SO powerful!
Listen to this song:
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